waltz

I was not here, October 2007


Why is it that we are inclined to feel like we are always supposed to be doing something? Is it so socially unacceptable to just sort through your inbox, write and laugh with friends? Why does vacation only apply to destination spots?
Those are three out of a million questions twitching my head this morning. When I am not at work, I have other work to do. If I don't use that time off wisely, I feel like I am behind, or I've wasted time. But time with family is never wasted, and a night walking towards rolling waves and water is precious as there are only precious few moments that make indelible impressions. And I should know that creating my own impressions vs. impressions made by others is the best use of my time. They'll never end up on a to-do list; they are what doctors will never achieve.
Just once I want to put my head down without thinking of what needs to be done the next day, even the "other work".
I was reminded that the trial was only a little over a year ago. I am always reminded of the trial in an every day sort of fashion. In some ways, it feels as long and as deep as the end of the ocean. In other ways, my feet are still wading in the same waters that can pull me in deeper and further, past the buoys and life guards. It is only by the strength of our will that keeps me where I can still touch the ocean's floor.