A moment of sonic bliss for Rubi

Last night I found out that earlier this week one of my high school friends collapsed at a SF park and was fully brain damaged. Her parents took her off life support.

There are no right things to say in moments like these but I've felt guilty for doing and feeling the opposite of what Robyn represented: free, happy, spirited, a lover of life. Aside from work, I've been inert. Not a thread of creativity. Losing a friend can temporarily disconnect that line.
For now I'm remembering Robyn as the unapolegetically outspoken girl and woman that she became. Never one to mince words, or conform to any Fairfield County Stepfordness, Robyn and I had crazy homes and a need to express it. We played field hockey together - she was a little powerhouse. My first concert, the Indigo Girls at The Palace in Portchester, was with Robyn and thus began our lifelong love affair with singer songwriters, lyrics that ache, songs that move the earth beneath you... Robyn was a year younger than me so I went to NYU - the following year she went to Northwestern. I remember calling her on a road trip I took my junior year and we tried, tried to get together but it seemed like she was lost in her world.

Through the years we've kept in touch here - there. I knew what she was up to, and that she was happy, and writing about music, and I'm not sure how far she got, but was writing an autobiography about her crazy 20s. Last week she emailed me to say how sorry she was for not being in touch but that she thinks of me OFTEN and she'll be in LA on the 23rd. I pulled the sheets out to be washed in case she wanted or needed to stay here. And then I found out she was no longer here.
Robyn would want to be remembered for the strong independent fireball that she was. She wouldn't care for my sappy tears so I'm just writing and remembering.

Kiss the sky for me, Rubi. Love you always.

Crazy settles in Reno

Yesterday morning, I received an email for a speaking op in Reno, NV. Didn't take more than the city name to know this was for the beautiful 19 year old Brianna Denison, who was kidnapped, raped and murdered by what police officials think is a serial rapist. I reached out to the contact who is organizing an event on safety and awareness in honor of Brianna and to support a community who is afraid to leave their homes. The free event is on Sunday, April 27th in Reno and is open to anyone who wants to learn more about safety, awareness, DNA evidence, or simply to be there for Brianna. Believe me, just being present goes a long way.
It will happen a million times over and I'll still be blown away by people's generousity. These folks are well on their way to a very comprehensive and crucial event for a city frozen in fear. I am proud to be a part of the day and am working on getting some additional support and connect to Brianna's college. Two cities hurting by the loss of one girl her mom nicknamed "Breezy" because she was "like a breath of fresh air". My heart hurts. I was pinning together a recycled vintage dress when I spoke at length to the organizers. My pinning stopped; my plans for the evening and for the next month took a very different turn. Some people take vacations to sunny places. I live in a sunny place and take vacations to bring some light to darner corners. At least I hope that's what I'm doing.
I talk a lot about media perception versus the real world. In the real world, 1 in 4 women will be assaulted by the time they graduate college. There will be many who will say, or think, "Oh I wouldn't have done that! Whatever that is: go out alone, forget to lock a door, or in my case, walk home from work. Really? I'm not saying you shouldn't be aware of your surroundings, but you will never know what you will do until it happens to you. These are false perceptions that it can't happen to you because you are stronger, smarter, quicker, savvier than others. Pray that it doesn't. Start by stopping - the cycle of blame, the myths, the people who prey. Get their MO: we've got their number. Call it.