the double edged post: Helprapevictim's online cry for help

I think all survivors are saddened by Crystal's story knowing all too well that posting a video plea for help on YouTube is a dangerous way to speak out. While I don't suggest another survivor taking this course of action, the good - the people who can and will help Crystal may outweigh the vacuous and uneducated responses to her video post. It certainly outweighs silence. The online outlet is just a very vulnerable place to be heard. With internet laws virtually non-existent, the post is permanent...like rape.

While it wasn't her intention to do so, Crystal opened a dialogue, not only about injustices and gaping holes in our legal system between those who want to help and are fighting for change, and those who live in a black hole. There are many, particularly our younger generations that treat message boards and postings like a video game. I hate to think of this young woman reading trash comments - they only have weight if you let them. For the survivor, they are to be ignored. For the activists and those working to break this cycle, they are a fine study in exactly where our country is in terms of knowing the facts about rape, condoning it and blaming the victim.

To Crystal: we are here for you. RAINN is here for you. You will never be alone. Our society is not into admitting that we have a problem and are in need a very dire and long overdue reality check because no one likes to talk about what we can seem to fix. Unfortunately in the court of law, it may not work out the way that it should. Take care of yourself, surround yourself with good people, and find the strength to shake off harsh criticism. That's not what this is about.

Protect your privacy and allow yourself to heal by the hands who can help you. Justice does not always come in the form of a prison sentence. It should, but it doesn't yet, so we learn, seek and form other outlets and alliances.

Why not (the rape t-shirt)

© 2008 Heather Corinna, courtesy of http://www.scarleteen.com/

Is a bold statement worth the price?

This is a tough one. First of all, CNN.com got the story all kinds of wrong (all they had to do was visit the web site).

So if you haven't heard - or seen - here's the story about a t-shirt that's got everyone talking on the 7th day of Sexual Assault Awareness Month:

"You've seen fashion statements before, but not like this: "I was raped." That's what it says on T-shirts for sale on the Seattle-based Web site Scarleteen.com . The shirts - pale pink depicting an open safe and a tiny, almost illegible note-card bearing those three words - are going for $25 via the sex-ed site. Promoters are hoping the shirts will help break the don't-talk-about-it stigma sometimes felt by rape victims, and maybe help with the healing process. Picture Scarleteen.com's Heather Corinna models the shirt. Courtesy photo/scarleteen.com Scarleteen.com operator Heather Corinna survived rape as a young girl, and she wrote in an e-mail earlier today that she wears the T-shirt because "anything and everything we can do to break that silence is critically important. "If any woman around me had voiced that she was raped - with her voice or with something like this shirt - I think that as a girl, my road to becoming a survivor might have been a lot less rocky and felt a lot less terrifying and shameful," she wrote.

The T-shirt got some play in a New York Times article today, mostly focusing on Brooklyn-based activist Jennifer Baumgardner, who designed the shirt. "So many people who've been raped tend to doubt the experience," Baumgardner said in the article. "I do think it's often empowering for women and men to own that experience and divest themselves of some of the shame and secrecy of it -- and realize that they're not the ones that should be ashamed," she said. Baumgardner speaks at college campuses often, and she's planning on distributing the shirts at those events, according to the story. The activist stirred up some controversy in the past when she designed and promoted a shirt featuring the words: "I had an abortion." ....What do you think about the shirt?"

What do I think about the shirt?

Here's a few thoughts--

- I give it a point for making me have more than a few thoughts on the subject thus leading to a rare-Monday blog entry.

-I don't feel a heart beat :-/ I see feminist with a capital F. And that's fine, but I think it's just poor execution of a maybe could have been a good idea.

-This has publicity written all over it. Good publicity to raise awareness? Yeah, kind of but also the kind of shock rocking publicity that loses its message in the electricity. It shifts focus from the real issue (rape still being a taboo subject) to the act of doing something controversial. And then it's forgotten.

- My two biggest problems with it: there's a time to be bold - and to me that's connecting with non-survivors, this type of exposure - and merch meant to be purchased by survivors may have a potentially adverse affect on them. It's a very private and personal experience. To go or be public is really what the clothesline project is all about it's your own tshirt - your own experience.

-You need to be careful with things like this - people will buy them for the wrong reasons and then it becomes a joke. "I was raped" is no laughing matter.

-It's pink thus clearly geared towards women. Men are sexually assaulted too. Anything that classifies rape as a women's issue is a BIG problem for me. It's counterproductive and coming from a woman, it's endorsing rape as a female thing. Not okay.

-Lastly but not by any means least, I initially thought the image was a microwave. So that's just another kind of wrong.

Soo, what do you think of the shirt?