graphic courtesy of Takebackthenews.comThe first time I really broke down after the trial was when I was trying to go public with my story. I have a lot of media friends and friends who's friends are producers for CNN, Paula Z., The Today Show, etc. One producer is from my home town. I was lead on, ignored, and lied to by many (journalists, not friends). While waiting for the verdict at the courthouse, a close friend put me in touch with a non-profit publicist who said he was "thrilled to help me me go public". We exchanged calls, emails and then he stopped writing; I never heard from him again. This happened when I was spending my days in a NYC courthouse. When I called the NYC AP desk, I was transferred to a writer who said to me, "Why now?" I naively thought he meant what brought me to the point in my life where I wanted to share my story in a very public way. What he really meant was, "What's the news in this? It happened over a month ago, lady." The irony was so thick, like black smoke expelled in my face, that I could hardly breathe. I'm not being overdramatic. I didn't really cry during the trial; I cried when I was mistreated by the media.
The irony is that during the trial "my story"--the one I wasn't allowed to comment on-- was in every g-d damned newspaper from here to South Africa--every day. Now Riker's Island Number ##### was able to say his piece, the people representing the case said their share, but for us, we were asked to remain silent: a contridiction in terms for unlocked survivors. I understand that since we were "witnesses", it wasn't the best time to speak to the media. But in between the time of the verdict and the sentencing, legislation pressing to overturn NY State's archaic statue of limitations finally made it to Albany. My case had been cited by Robert Morgenthaul not once, but twice in effort to correct the law as it applies to present day. Still I couldn't speak, and nothing would have brought me more solace during that very difficult time then to help overturn a law that would bring us some justice and hope for those cold case DNA hits like mine. I was a witness in my own case, which I found out, wasn't really my case at all. And so it was only a month later that I was able to contact the media to which they collectively replied "too late". So I--my story--sold newspapers for them every day---but no one was interested in hearing my story a month later? Really?
The irony is that during the trial "my story"--the one I wasn't allowed to comment on-- was in every g-d damned newspaper from here to South Africa--every day. Now Riker's Island Number ##### was able to say his piece, the people representing the case said their share, but for us, we were asked to remain silent: a contridiction in terms for unlocked survivors. I understand that since we were "witnesses", it wasn't the best time to speak to the media. But in between the time of the verdict and the sentencing, legislation pressing to overturn NY State's archaic statue of limitations finally made it to Albany. My case had been cited by Robert Morgenthaul not once, but twice in effort to correct the law as it applies to present day. Still I couldn't speak, and nothing would have brought me more solace during that very difficult time then to help overturn a law that would bring us some justice and hope for those cold case DNA hits like mine. I was a witness in my own case, which I found out, wasn't really my case at all. And so it was only a month later that I was able to contact the media to which they collectively replied "too late". So I--my story--sold newspapers for them every day---but no one was interested in hearing my story a month later? Really?
I decided that going public by the media's terms and conditions would be a double edged sword: I'll comment on things and be interviewed for specific causes, laws, events that are meaningful and relevant to my story and helping others, but I won't give my story away like a virgin. Living in Los Angeles, I know all too well how stories get turned on their heads. For once I wanted to control and own "my story". So I took it back. I'm now writing in a medium that I have control over (here, and in a much bigger, silver form) The story will be told, on my terms and conditions.
I am thinking about the media and it's irresponsible reporting on the tragic death of Heath Ledger. Speculation, feeding the masses, selling papers: our American greed is once again spiriling out of control. It will be 10 days until his death is determined and every day there will be more speculation, rumours, random religious freaks coming out of their comas to comment on his death. Mixing prescription medicine is a "hot topic" as is how we treat depression. Journalists and media reporters have a responsibility to report on the known facts of an event. A sassy tagline that has clickability about someone dying is irresponsible and shameful. Karma, in the form of a computer with a sad face, can be messy. Kind of like a pen exploding in the bottom of your bag, except far worse.
To those who are camping outside the Broome Street apartment, and were there to "greet" Michelle Williams, it's a horrible thing that you do. It happened to me back in 1996 and no one could go home. We were displaced by the media. Gee, thanks. This has happened to other survivor friends of mine. Do you realize that your "need" to get the juiciest details, the sharpest photos, have forced survivors out of their homes? Just thought you might want to know.
There are many responsible journalists, and there are also organizations that are on to the ones who aren't. Take Back The News is a fantastic organization that gives survivors a place to tell their own story, calls journalists out on misrepresentation, speculation and erroneous information, and raises awareness so that more accurate reporting will lead to more survivors coming forward, seeking help, pressing charges, and debunking the too too many myths that exist today. Not 40 years ago, today.
One last thought: remember Princess Diana. For a moment I will speculate and say that she would most likely hope that no one else suffers the same fate that she did.
I am thinking about the media and it's irresponsible reporting on the tragic death of Heath Ledger. Speculation, feeding the masses, selling papers: our American greed is once again spiriling out of control. It will be 10 days until his death is determined and every day there will be more speculation, rumours, random religious freaks coming out of their comas to comment on his death. Mixing prescription medicine is a "hot topic" as is how we treat depression. Journalists and media reporters have a responsibility to report on the known facts of an event. A sassy tagline that has clickability about someone dying is irresponsible and shameful. Karma, in the form of a computer with a sad face, can be messy. Kind of like a pen exploding in the bottom of your bag, except far worse.
To those who are camping outside the Broome Street apartment, and were there to "greet" Michelle Williams, it's a horrible thing that you do. It happened to me back in 1996 and no one could go home. We were displaced by the media. Gee, thanks. This has happened to other survivor friends of mine. Do you realize that your "need" to get the juiciest details, the sharpest photos, have forced survivors out of their homes? Just thought you might want to know.
There are many responsible journalists, and there are also organizations that are on to the ones who aren't. Take Back The News is a fantastic organization that gives survivors a place to tell their own story, calls journalists out on misrepresentation, speculation and erroneous information, and raises awareness so that more accurate reporting will lead to more survivors coming forward, seeking help, pressing charges, and debunking the too too many myths that exist today. Not 40 years ago, today.
One last thought: remember Princess Diana. For a moment I will speculate and say that she would most likely hope that no one else suffers the same fate that she did.
